When Volunteering Hurts Your Heart

Can we talk about the hard things?  

Our work takes us to many communities, and we engage with many volunteer groups both formally and informally.  Specifically, we work with communities who want to clarify the roles and responsibilities between themselves and the volunteer groups that raise money for the municipal owned facilities, like rinks, pools, and halls. We also have occasion to hear from those volunteer groups who run minor ball, hockey, soccer, dance and so many others. Over the years, that is lot of volunteers.  

I see a trend emerging though, and it is not pretty. Some volunteer boards are forming a hierarchy with a lead core group and several minions, who they treat like they are there to just serve the mission laid out by the core. The core is obnoxious, rude and insistent. They attack municipal staff, they attack volunteers, and they are mean to anyone who doesn’t agree with them. They are entitled. Demanding. They think they speak for everyone. They are vindictive, isolating and use social media to control the rest.  

What they don’t seem to realize is this: things get done to spite them, not because of them. Their fellow volunteers apologize for them, are embarrassed by them, and eventually quit because of them. They do more damage than they are worth to the project in which they involve themselves. And they are tolerated.   

When did we become so afraid to stand up to the bullies? When did we become okay with taking lip off an angry person under the guise of passionate volunteer? That kind of abuse does not fly, cannot fly in a small population community. Here, you cannot just take your son or daughter and stomp off to the next team. Here, allowing bullies to run the show causes real harm to that son or daughter.  

Most volunteer groups are not like that. Most volunteers within a group are not like that.  To those of you who have donated time and money and patience to our beautiful communities, THANK YOU. We would not, could not, have the kinds of communities we do, with the tax bases we have, without you. You are the reason pools get built, rinks get maintained, and our quality of life is superior to anywhere. The volunteers who give their time and money are the bomb!  

But you who use your position to abuse others? Find another hobby.  Those of you whose children benefit from those tireless volunteers, show a little respect. You do not have to be mean to be heard. You can be polite and still make a point.